Alien:Resurrection

Say your prayers loud, as not even that could save Alien: Resurrection from being a total clusterfuck!

So, scientists were able to gather blood samples of Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) who burnt into ashes in the previous film. Let that thought settle in for a while, because plots have never been this dumb before! Not even a single sense the writing here makes! Just by this; this fact alone, the makers have completely lost audiences' trust & respect!

The entire show is cheap in all terms. Graphics, camera navigations, acting performances, dialogues, scenes; everything! Not only it severely lacks in quality, but cringeworthy as well! With one of the worst & weirdest openings for a film ever involving a bug smear, you sort of get an idea how disastrous the movie is going to turn out. Why do we even need a computer graphics bug that totally doesn't add any value to the picture? You'll see a lot, a lot of elements that do not append any value of any sorts to the final product, exist in this script. Intentionally weird characters who are full of sexual innuendos, basketball flirts, Ripley dropping down to breeding arena, Call (Winona Ryder) grabbing a drink with boxing gloves, Johner (Ron Perlman) shooting a spider and Dr. Wren (J. E. Freeman) betraying at the most unfit time possible are laughably bad examples! These issues make verbal exposition look like an Oscar-worthy narrative technique!

From the first few minutes itself one can tell there's literally no story. Sequences are purposely stretched, stretched and stretched alike chewing gum resulting in a dreadful, slow and long-winded motion picture. Most of the scenes included do not help proceed the story forward by any measure, because there isn't any story at all! All we see is a team consisting primarily of despicable people whom we couldn't care lesser walking to their rescue, gathering members on the way. There aren't any conflicts, storytelling or whatsoever. The Aliens disappear midway, only to make a cameo appearance at the end.

Ellen Ripley, one of the coolest protagonist ever created is completely destroyed now. She is the Alien Mother who has psychic powers, acidic blood & sexual connections with her offspring. What have you done, Joss Whedon? We'll never know how out of nowhere Call is an android, why Call wanted to murder Ripley, how Dr. Gedimen (Brad Dourif) is still able to talk after being cocooned by the Alien Queen, why Call gives instructions to the Xenomorphs in which floor their potential victim is, how Christie's (Gary Dourdon) able to sneak in weapons into Auriga when clearly there's a spot check upon arrival or how Call's intuition and knowledge functions about the proceedings & Ellen Ripley onboard. These are completely idiotic to say the least.

It doesn't take any efforts to notice one or two endeavors that do stand out in this pile of feces. The animatronics for the Aliens & prosthetics for Ripley clones are good. Upon meeting the other clones you'd know why Ripley 8's left alive, as she is the most perfect out of all that're attempted. Aliens breaching through the hull by sacrificing one of their kinds is a smart move. The tense is real once they break loose. But after a while, due to overshowing the Xenomorphs and ease of terminating them with a gunshot, every sense of fear is gone. The initial incision procedure in retrieving the Baby Queen is cool. Out of all the other three instalments we've seen, Alien: Resurrection displays a slightly different angle by asking the question: 'What if humans are capable or tries to control this foreign species?' And it works, even more with the Aliens' resurrection after going through such treatment for a while. The underwater escape segment with struggles to penetrate the slimy layer on shore is watchable and to a certain degree, thrills. There's one particular shot that follows a grenade bomb movement which is brilliant.

Just when you can't wait for the film to end, enters Newborn - a hybrid between Xenomorph and Homo-sapien. God, what an abomination to the franchise! This is the point where all borderlines are crossed and the route turns disgusting. This climax throws whatever positives left, out of the window. Officially, this is rock bottom.